Before I headed out the door to go float on a boat with John Mayer I was thinking about the friends I wanted to be there, but couldn't go. Last year when I went on the Mayercraft I brought a My Little Pony named CC to represent my friend Kelly. I took CC with me everywhere and sent text pictures of her to Kelly until we set sail and my phone became useless and/or way too expensive to use. This year, I wanted to do something slightly different. More special. What the HELL was I going to do??

I went back to the dollar store where I found CC. SURELY they would have something to inspire me. That's the beauty of a dollar store, right? It's a ton of brand new junk. Random, useless CHEAP junk. And there, at the end of an isle in a little bin by the floor is where I found Milo. A bin FULL of little Milo's. I bought one, bought some other possibilities and came home. I contemplated the items I had purchased. I couldn't really decide which item I wanted to take with me. I kept going back to the Milo (who wasn't named Milo at the time). He seemed perfect. Small enough to fit in my purse, all plastic in case he got wet (he's actually a squeaky bath toy) and he's a fish which seemed sort of appropriate to take on a boat. Right?

The day before we left for LA I had an epiphany. What if I had a whole bunch of them? I'd be able to give him to more than one person. What if I tried to get him signed by various people?? *DING!* I ran (ok, drove) back to the dollar store and bought 5 more of them. The plan? Take pictures of him with me everywhere and have different people sign each one. When I got home, I would send them to various people who couldn't be there to share the experience.

So I set off for LA with one Milo in my purse and 5 more packed in my suitcase. The Adventures of Milo were about to begin...


Milo flies the friendly skys.


Welcome to Los Angeles.


Chilaxin' in Long Beach.


I can tell he's already bored with this. What's next? Quit rolling your eyes at me Milo!


Looking out the port hole in our room aboard the Hotel Queen Mary.


Inspecting the Queen Mary.


Preparing the Tardis.


Hanging with friends. (I love that Jay Tay has the exact same expression on his face as Milo!)


Already, Milo knows he's hot enough to score with the girls! But I could tell, he was going to miss Jenny a LOT!



Playing Tourist at the Chinese Theater in Hollywood.


John Wayne was one cool dude!


Up in the Hollywood hills at Griffith Observatory. That little white dash in the background there is the Hollywood sign. It looked closer in person, honest.


Partying it up with some of the coolest bitches on the planet.


On board! At last!


Safety first! Milo matches the life jackets!


Milo can make friends anywhere!


Milo faces off with his rival... Who will win? Hot guy or fish??



Ready to set sail, Captain! Let's get this boat on the ocean!


Ok John Mayer! Bring it!


Milo knows how to bring out the, um, BEST in everyone!


But he really does love the ladies!


JJ Johnson got to be the first to sign a Milo. I think Milo was wondering if the tattoo was gonna hurt, but JJ was gentle...


Milo sports his first tattoo. CHEERS!

What can I say? He's a popular little fish! Channing really liked him, but I don't think Chico got it.


Chico came around eventually. How can you not love Milo?


Jessie Baylin sure thought Milo was cute! And Milo loved her so much he made her sign him TWICE!


Relaxing with a Corona at The Office in Cabo.


We're gonna have to cut him off. He drinks like a ... *cough*

Ahhhhh! Cabo! So beautiful!

Contemplating the obnoxiousness of the Carnival Splendor taking up the entirety of the Cabo harbor...


Peeping Milo loves all the hot babes on the beach.


Now THIS is the life...


You mean this dude with the ginormous head was the point to this whole trip? I don't believe you.

And here he is...in all his signed glory:






Chad Franscoviak & Jessie Baylin signed this one. This is where Chad signed.

This is where Jessie signed. It says, "Wish you were here" on the side.


David Ryan Harris and Ryan Shaw got this one. This is David's.


and this is Ryan's. "God Bless"


John Aschettino (Ryan Shaw's guitarist) and Jessie Baylin. Jessie also gave him a mustache.


Lastly, the John Mayer Milo. Chad signed his name like a mustache on the front. (That's where Jessie got the idea for her mustache!)

It should be noted that THIS is the Milo I flashed my underpants to John Mayer for. Um, well. I was passing it to him and I fell. In a skirt. Hence the flashing. Flashing not required for autograph. In fact, I'm sure John's probably now seeking therapy to have that image removed from his mind. Not that I blame him. When I passed Milo to him, John said that he looked like a demented Nemo. Hey, it's not Milo's fault he has super huge bug-eyes!  

I was going to make Chad sign all of them, but I only managed to get 3 of them signed by him. So in the end, I guess you could say John Mayer has fondled my fish, but Chad fondled my fish the most. *cough*

You know what's really funny though? Chad was telling random people the story of Milo. I ran into a girl on an elevator and happened to have a Milo in my hand and she says, "Oh my God! You're the girl with the fish!" and I said, "Wait, what?" (I'm a stunning conversationalist when startled.) "Chad told me about a girl getting a bunch of fish signed for her friends. That's you, right?" To which I replied, "Chad? Franscoviak? He told you about my fish?" (Yep, stunning conversationalist!) And yes, apparently he told a bunch of people. You make me giggle, Chad.

And since he was such a good sport, Chad needed to get a little something special. I gave him Wanda.


Wanda sat on top of Chad's soundboard the last night of the cruise for the last show. She's probably packed somewhere in a gear box now. I asked him to take care of her for me, so hopefully she doesn't end up in a bag of trash somewhere. Maybe when Chad unpacks his board he'll find her and he'll remember the crazy adventures of Milo. (and/or how entirely weird I am)
So I suppose you're wondering, who get's the Milo's? It was an incredibly tough decision. I have more than 5 friends who should have been able to go, who really WANTED to go but weren't able to go. I chose from among that group. And if you don't get one, please don't think it's because I didn't think of you. I did. I thought of ALLLL my friends who couldn't be there, and I missed you.

So, here are the names of the girls getting a Milo (not in any order):

Kelly
Donna
Mindi
Kristen
Kylie

I wish I could have given each and every one of you who couldn't go a Milo and I actually feel bad that I can't. But instead, I'll dedicate this blog to you. It's lame, (and droning) but it's all I've got.

And if you're counting, you've probably wondered where the sixth and final Milo is. Well, I left the boat without getting him signed. I was a little bummed about it, but then I started thinking. Maybe I would keep THAT Milo for myself. So I made a few of my friends sign him for me. I don't need famous people to sign him. They aren't the ones I think about all the time, or the people who mean the most to me— my friends are. So, I'm going to keep the last Milo for me, and I think he'll be my traveling companion for the next little while so when I see the people I love, I can have them sign him for me.